Your parents

I know what you think, this is going to be a rant about helicopter parenting, but you know what? Helicopter parenting’s going the way of the dodo, cause right now we’re witnessing the rise of the drone parenting.

From the cradle to the grave (or at least until you’re old enough to move out of the house and get your own damn phone) there’s apps and products for your parents to monitor your every move.

The mobile app connects over the Internet to the tracker, allowing parents to use it even if they leave the house and go to dinner[…], and delivers a visual and simple description of how the baby is doing, without any numbers and complicated metrics. 1

So, now parents can go on a holiday (hopefully leaving the little one in the care of someone trusted) and still know how the baby’s doing by just checking their phones.

Later on in life, professional fearmongering patriatchal douchebags like Dr. Phil recommends that your parents monitor your text messaging and browsing 2.

But wait, there’s more!

Of course there’s also app services aimed at geotracking kids’ phones so parents know when their children arrive at a specified area, and get a notification if they leave it before they’re allowed3.

All while the parents are snuggled into their monitor room, drone operators with a safe distance away from the dangers of the real world.

Sources

  1. Venturebeat.com (40 trackers)
  2. DrPhil.com (9 trackers)
  3. Time.com (23 trackers)